Zombie Apocalypse! :: By The Gospelist (2023)

When it comes to horror movies, zombies are the least interesting of all possible antagonists. They are just too one-dimensional.

The typical zombie movie begins with some mysterious virus or chemical that kills people and then reanimates them into the undead. They then wander around aimlessly in search of the living to consume. As their numbers grow, they become more difficult to avoid. Eventually, the culture is swamped with them, and people can no longer escape their destructive tendencies. Society then begins to break down as they mindlessly wreak havoc on every aspect of civilization until productivity comes to a halt.

The military and law enforcement quickly collapse, and all that is left is the struggle for survival of those who have not been infected.

Zombies are usually slow, lumbering, unintelligent creatures whose only hope of overcoming you is to surround you to the point where you cannot escape. They have no real strategy for capturing their prey; they simply hear a noise or see you, then they instinctively attack you. If there are a sufficient number of them to surround you, they then pile on top of you and proceed to eat you alive.

Some Hollywood directors have added the absurd need on the part of the undead to have an appetite for eating brains. This is highly improbable since they must be able to bite through the skull with rotting teeth. Apparently, they desire to eat brains more than anything because they no longer have access to their own.

Oscar Wilde, an Irish poet and playwright, once said that life imitates art. He theorized that art changes our perception of life. The ancient Greeks argued the opposite, that art imitates the things around us.

This is a great controversy in the art world, but it seems we now have enough evidence to solve it. Apparently, Oscar Wilde had it right after all.

Life does imitate art, or at least it seems to imitate ‘B’ movies.

As evidence of this conclusion, we need only to observe a standard protest at one of our schools of higher learning.

Our children who are sent to these universities and colleges tend to go in fairly normal. Not long after they arrive, many of them become infected with a mysterious virus that changes their mood, behavior and appearance. They are no longer the children that showed up on opening day; they have turned into something else.

They slowly emerge from their dorms with a dull look in their eyes and a scowl on their faces. The agitation in their demeanor is palpable. It is not long before they move to attack the productive members of society to destroy everything that was created before them.

The attacks often begin on family members who are the first to be confronted by their newly infected offspring. They stare in amazement and terror as their child goes through a horrifying transition that they themselves have funded. They find that the bundle of joy that they brought home from the hospital only eighteen years ago has turned into an unrecognizable monster.

As their numbers grow, they form into groups with other creatures like themselves. They lumber around aimlessly, groaning unintelligibly about the patriarchy, while drooling with a lifeless look in their eyes. They call themselves ‘Woke’ when it is fairly obvious that their brain waves have flatlined and their ability to reason has abandoned them. When some hapless conservative happens by, they surround the poor dupe hoping to devour him in their relentless quest for brains.

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Their attacks are senseless, as their only objective is to waylay other creatures who do not share their characteristics. They usually start wailing and making false accusations against the nebulous adversary they call ‘society.’ When they do manage to speak, they make absurd statements and issue ridiculous demands, which makes it impossible to reason with them.

The virus they carry is highly contagious, as it seems to quickly infect the administrators of the institution as well. The administrators, suddenly and without warning, begin to accommodate them rather than kicking them off campus. What makes this virus even more destructive is that it causes school officials to discipline those with common sense. The students with immunity to the virus then go into hiding rather than submit to the pointless rantings of their fellow pupils.

Even more alarming, the virus spreads quickly from our universities to the public at large. It infects members of our governmental institutions and elected officials, who quickly begin to cater to the undead instead of attempting to cure them.

Once empowered by the adults who are charged with maintaining order, they start to engage in pointless protests that seem to spread like wildfire. They begin ranting and moaning about something they call “Fascism,” even though they clearly do not know what the word means.

They seem to think it means that anyone who is not like them has no right to exist.

One ideology that the undead can all agree on is that the country that reared them is evil and unjust. They are united in their hatred of freedom if such an ideology dares to include even a hint of morality. They protest furiously for licentiousness and will use threats and violence until everyone looks and sounds like them.

Once these ghouls have control of an institution, it is not just false accusations of fascism that they spew at their enemies. There is the indefinable term ‘racism’ that is the next attack to be vomited against ‘society.’ For some reason, there are never any details about the alleged racism that unknown minorities are experiencing. We are simply supposed to take it on faith that every accusation of racism has merit, even though it does not seem to exist in reality.

Does anyone truly believe that there is actual racism on our university campuses?

Unfortunately, those we term political liberals are easily susceptible to this obvious, senseless accusation. Although they have not completed their transition to the undead, they are most certainly infected with the virus, which leads them to groan their affirmation of the proclamations of the infected.

We often mistake liberals for ‘iconoclasts’ who take strong and passionate stands for freedom. Unfortunately, their strong stands are only against moral restraint issued by people of faith. When wickedness starts making demands of them, they fold like a cheap tent.

At Amherst College, a group of zombies issued their orders to those who dared to make any kind of demands or to have reasonable expectations of them. The undead retched false accusations of racism and fascism against their dumbfounded administrators. These administrators uncharacteristically exhibited some backbone and refused to acquiesce to their demands. This type of resistance to the virus is extremely rare. Even for liberals, capitulating to stupidity has its limit.

The following were the demands of the student body:

  1. The need for flexibility and lenience on extensions for absences from class.
  2. Provide more mental health resources.
  3. Abolish the Amherst College police department.

Given these demands, it should be obvious to the casual observer that the campus at Amherst is a hotbed of racism and white supremacy. One hundred years ago, in the deep south, the Ku Klux Klan fought vigorously against the need for leniency when students were absent from class. That is what the cross burnings and lynchings were all about.

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At Claremont McKenna College, the dean had to resign when she was caught making ‘incendiary’ comments about ‘race.’ Dean Mary Spellman had the audacity to tell a Latina student that she would work to “serve those who do not fit our CMC mold.” Although she did apologize, the undead are an unforgiving lot, as they mercilessly devour the careers of the unwary.

It’s not just fascism and racism that send the ghouls into a feeding frenzy; any affront to those who call themselves ‘transgenders’ also results in an orgy of the damned.

When Republican Governor Glen Youngkin was elected in Virginia, he made it a point to ‘deny rights’ to cross-dressers who were pretending their Y chromosome was an X, or vice versa. This led to a high school walkout of about 200 wights in protest of his new guidelines. It seems that they were frightened that these new standards might mean that boys could not play girls’ sports. What was even more outrageous, boys would be forbidden to spend time undressing in girls’ bathrooms.

It seems that these specters, although they attempt to silence people of faith, need a safe place to express themselves freely. Anyone who dares to put any kind of moral restrictions on their behavior threatens their licentious designs. According to their theology, if a boy is willing to dress like a girl, he has every right to watch real girls undress in the locker room.

As it turns out, thousands of the undead walked out of a high school in Virginia to protest the oppressions of the arrogant sentient beings. This walkout was organized by the ‘Pride Liberation Project,’ a statewide LGBT activist group that lobbies on behalf of animate corpses who despise sexuality as defined by God. The Addams Families that spawned these ghouls were no doubt very proud that their children felt liberated from the tyrannical law of the Lord.

It’s funny how all ‘liberation’ seems to have that same characteristic.

The draft policy by the Virginia State education department reflected the enlightened values of creatures created in the image of God rather than the dim ideology of those who evolved from monkeys.

It dared to insist that:

  1. Cross-dressing students had to use the facilities associated with their biological sex.
  2. Parents would have to give approval for teachers and other staff members to refer to cross-dressing students by a different name or pronoun at school
  3. Families would have to provide legal documentation to change a student’s name and gender on official school records.

Those who are ‘genderqueer’ and ‘gender nonconforming’ were outraged that the uninfected would force any kind of morality on them (it should be noted that the vernacular of the undead declines in conjunction with their ability to reason). The righteousness of Godly virtue made them feel very ‘unsafe’ because it reminded them of their wickedness. The heathen are terrified of being reminded of their faithlessness because it forces them to come to terms with their eternal destination.

Come to think of it, if I were an evildoer, that would scare me too.

Allowing parents, instead of predatory liberals, to be involved in their children’s sexual decisions is incomprehensible to those who have lost access to their faculties.

When evil white communists go through all the trouble of inventing new ways of instigating evil, they become quite perturbed when someone throws a roadblock in front of them. They then direct their minions to rush headlong into the moral barriers created by people of faith. Their underlings then pound away until either their heads shatter or the barrier breaks.

There seems to be no end to the senseless groanings of the evil dead. If it is not made up ‘crises’ like climate change, they mindlessly clamor in defense of abortion or against ‘gun violence.’ Any attempt to stand on morality and freedom is an outrage to the occupants of Zombieland.

(Video) The midnight gospel (But I skip the intervals)

The uninfected have become nostalgic for the anti-war protests that used to fill our university campuses. Any time our freedom-loving nation would oppose an evil communist nation, we could count on those who claimed to love ‘peace’ to rise from their graves and start hellraising. Those seem like times of innocence now.

This world would be a different place if these ‘minds full of mush’ would rise up in defense of God’s righteousness and freedom (a little Rush Limbaugh lingo there). The question we need to answer is whether there is a nefarious force behind these protests. It cannot be a coincidence that these students always protest on the side of Godlessness, tyranny and evil.

The first thing that is obvious about these demonstrations is that they always come down on the side of the Democrat Party agenda. In turn, the Democrat Party agenda always lines up with the plans of the evil Globalists. It has come to pass that practically every Democrat is nothing more than a sock puppet for their Globalist overlords.

(Note: This virus has infected Republicans as well, especially our leadership class.)

Some of us have noticed that most Democrats are practically brain-dead but seem to still be able to win elections. It is not just senators from Pennsylvania who are lacking in cognition but the occupants of the White House as well.

The brain dead on our campuses do have enough wherewithal to identify those who are to be supported and those who are to be opposed. They seem to have the ability to understand that politicians with a ‘D’ next to their name are to be obeyed and those with an ‘R’ are to be attacked. This is more than sufficient evidence to assume that there is a guiding ideology that explains their behavior.

It is incumbent upon sensible society to determine who is the inventor of this virus, how they spread it, how this virus can be prevented, and why they use students to help perpetuate it.

First, we must identify the deceivers and defang them so we can cut off the head of the serpent. It requires a great deal of money to get everyone on the same page when it comes to deception. Therefore, we know that the people who originated this virus are not poor or powerless.

These people must be Godless and have the power to suppress the truth. They must have control of all major media outlets to ensure that the truth always remains hidden. Although they are futile in their thinking, they are experts in the dark art of deceit. They also understand the innate sinfulness of human nature and how easy it is to find accomplices who are equally disenchanted with God.

The conclusion is that we are dealing with politically powerful people who have a lot of money and are using their vast wealth to degrade society. These people are clearly megalomaniacs who believe that their wealth gives them the right to recreate the world. They believe that their wealth gives them the right to corrupt our economy, religion, culture and lifestyle to suit themselves. Anyone who dares to object is in danger of being financially ruined, imprisoned or murdered.

It has become clear by now that the originators of this virus are the evil Globalists and their religious advisors.

There is no way we can reanimate the evil Globalists or their religious advisors because they belong entirely to Satan.

As Jesus said, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God. They have nothing but disdain for God, his Son, and people of faith, and they are, in all likelihood, beyond redemption. As for their religious advisors, it really is not that difficult to identify who these people are.

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If we review the pope’s pagan document, Laudato Si, it is clear that the evil Jesuits are the Globalists’ religious consultants. These people are beyond redemption as well.

As President John Adams once said of the Jesuits when they were reconstituted after being kicked out of every decent nation on the planet, “Shall we not have regular swarms of them here, in as many disguises as only a king of the gypsies can assume, dressed as painters, publishers, writers, and schoolmasters? If ever there was a body of men who merited eternal damnation on earth and in hell, it is this Society of Loyola’s.”

The key to dealing with the evil Globalists and the papal cult is to be able to counteract their deception. We as Christians will need to stop this virus with the good hygiene of purity and good prevention practices by ensuring the minions of these people do not have access to political power and powerful therapeutics by exposing them, using the Word of God.

There are good people like Charlie Kirk at Turning Point USA who are attempting to fight their deadly virus. However, he and his organization are not going to have much success if the spiritual condition of the American people does not change.

There is only one way to reanimate the undead, and that is with the Word of God. We can begin the reanimation process by alerting the remaining uninfected of the consequences of their wickedness using Paul’s letter to the Galatians:

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:7-8).

This is good news for the Christian but disastrous for the ghouls. Those who reap abortion may one day find themselves being ‘aborted’ by the people they voted for. Those who reap ‘climate change’ will one day find themselves being enslaved by its proponents. Those who reap ‘transgenderism’ will one day find their own children being sexually mutilated by soulless creatures who have scorned the Hippocratic Oath.

We must fight against deception in every way. In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he writes:

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, ‘Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:6-21).

The parents of these young adults who are ‘protesting’ for foolishness need to understand that those who engage in this behavior are under the judgment of God. They maliciously bear false witness against their neighbor and, by doing so, harden their hearts against the Lord.

When you as a parent begin to see this behavior in your children, time is running out to share the Gospel with them. When you are confronted with their false accusations, you should not be intimidated. Instead, advise them that their behavior is a terrible sin against God, and boldly inform them that Jesus calls them to repent and be forgiven in his holy name.

The Gospel is always the best ‘conversion therapy’ you can offer to your wayward child.

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FAQs

How long can you survive a zombie apocalypse? ›

Given humanity's new-found survival skills, the team re-estimated that it would take about 1,000 days, or 2.7 years, for humans to wipe out all the zombies. In another 25 years, the human population should start to recover from the attack.

How to survive zombie apocalypse? ›

The Zombie Survival Guide
  1. Organize before they rise!
  2. They feel no fear, why should you?
  3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
  4. Blades don't need reloading.
  5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
  6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
  7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
  8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!

What is the oldest zombie? ›

According to The Undead Eighteenth Century by Linda Troost, zombies appeared in literature as far back as 1697 and were described as spirits or ghosts, not cannibalistic fiends. They arrived on the film scene around the same time as their monster peers, Frankenstein and Dracula, with the 1932 release of White Zombie.

What is the first rule of the zombie apocalypse? ›

#1: Cardio - Zombies aren't fast. To escape, it's more important to be able to run longer than faster.

What is the best state to survive a zombie apocalypse? ›

Top 10 best states for surviving a zombie apocalypse
RankStateScore
1North Dakota79.64
2Nebraska78.6
3South Dakota73.1
4Iowa71.2
6 more rows

What 3 things would you bring in a zombie apocalypse? ›

Here's what you'll want in your zombie apocalypse kit
  • Water (1 gallon per person per day)
  • Food (stock up on non-perishable items)
  • Medications (prescription and over-the-counter meds)
  • Tools and supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
  • Sanitation and hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
Oct 25, 2021

What is the deadliest zombie? ›

The 13 Most Dangerous Types of Video Game Zombies, Ranked
  1. 1 The Flood - Halo Series.
  2. 2 Necromorphs - Dead Space. ...
  3. 3 Reaper Soldiers - Mass Effect Series. ...
  4. 4 Cordyceps Zombies - The Last of Us. ...
  5. 5 The Undead - Plants Vs Zombies. ...
  6. 6 The Infected - Left 4 Dead Series. ...
  7. 7 Volatiles - Dying Light. ...
  8. 8 T-Virus Zombies - Resident Evil. ...
Feb 22, 2022

Who first made zombies? ›

A new version of the zombie, distinct from that described in Haitian folklore, emerged in popular culture during the latter half of the 20th century.
...
George A. Romero (1968–1985)
Zombie
First appearanceNight of the Living Dead (1968)
Created byGeorge Romero
In-universe information
Alias"Romero zombie"
2 more rows

Who created the zombie argument? ›

Further such arguments were notably advanced in the 1970s by Thomas Nagel (1970; 1974) and Robert Kirk (1974) but the general argument was most famously developed in detail by David Chalmers in The Conscious Mind (1996).

How did the first zombie start? ›

The myth of the zombie originated in Haiti in the 17th and 18th centuries when African slaves were brought in to work on sugar plantations under the rule of France. The slaves believed that if they ended their own lives by suicide they would be condemned to spend eternity trapped in their own bodies as the undead.

How do you zombie proof your house? ›

5 Tips to Safeguard Your Home Against Zombies
  1. Secure the Perimeter. You should alwayskeep your doors and windows locked to keep out unwanted guests. ...
  2. Keep a Low Profile. We all know zombies are attracted to noise, so keep the house as quiet as possible. ...
  3. Coordinate with the Neighbors. ...
  4. Rise Above. ...
  5. Have a Backup Plan.
Oct 12, 2015

Where is the best place to survive a zombie apocalypse? ›

TOP 10 BEST CITIES FOR SURVIVING A ZOMBIE ATTACK
  • Orlando, FL.
  • Salt Lake City, UT.
  • Honolulu, HI.
  • Portland, OR.
  • Colorado Springs, CO.
  • Tampa, FL.
  • Springfield, MO.
  • Miami, FL.
Oct 27, 2022

What does a zombie hate? ›

Zombies hate clowns. They also hate hippies, not to mention zip-lines, penguins, moon penguins, nudists, weddings, sharing, and kittens.

What food would survive an apocalypse? ›

Canned and freeze-dried foods are your new favorites. So are properly-stored whole wheat cereals, nuts, dry pasta, corn, and various other dry edibles. To further build out your pantry, focus on high-energy options like peanut butter, jelly, granola bars, and trail mix.

What is the best food for a zombie apocalypse? ›

Carrots, eggplant, potatoes, and other root vegetables last long and are durable should you have to go on the run. Apples and citrus fruits last, too, and don't need any refrigeration.

What is the best weapon for zombie apocalypse? ›

Machetes are a classic and effective weapon for a zombie apocalypse. They're light, sharp and typically have a holster you can attach to a belt when you're not using it. Any bladed weapon could help pick through a wooded area, but a machete is designed to chop through trees.

Can zombies poop? ›

A zombie's digestive tract is completely dormant. The complex system that processes food, extracts nutrition, and excretes waste does not factor into a zombie's physiology. Autopsies conducted on neutralized undead have shown that their 'food' lies in its original, undigested state at all sections of the tract.

What kills a zombie? ›

Destroying the brain

Nearly all zombie survivalists are in agreement that the destruction of the brain is the only surefire way to neutralize the zombie (though a few rare types of zombies require complete dismemberment).

Do zombies have feelings? ›

Zombies do not feel pain, nor do they respond to threats or demonstrations to incite fear and crowd dispersion. They just simply want to consume and spread and should be feared by the human race.

How long does it take for a zombie body to decompose? ›

They're basically big sacs of fluid, so they're the first things to go. And within 24 hours, decomposition begins. It starts with a discoloration in the lower abdomen, and within three days the entire body is showing signs of decay.

Can a zombie process be killed? ›

Zombie processes, on the other hand, cannot be killed! Why might you ask? Well, because they are already dead! Every child process, when terminated, becomes a zombie process and then removed by the parent.

How long would food last in a zombie apocalypse? ›

It is an absolute necessity to have plenty of bottled water on hand. According to Answers.com, a person can survive for nearly a month without food but will die after 3 days without water. Water can also be beneficial in treating scrapes and bruises along the way. Keep in mind though, it won't help in case of a bite.

Would a zombie poop? ›

A zombie's digestive tract is completely dormant. The complex system that processes food, extracts nutrition, and excretes waste does not factor into a zombie's physiology. Autopsies conducted on neutralized undead have shown that their 'food' lies in its original, undigested state at all sections of the tract.

What part of the human body takes the longest to decompose? ›

A century in, the last of your bones will have collapsed into dust. And only the most durable part of your body, your teeth, will remain.

Would a zombie freeze in winter? ›

Though zombies would still likely move more slowly in extreme cold, their blood would never convert into a solid, continuing to flow and power the body.

Why are zombies green? ›

As the body decomposes further, chemical changes take place that produce skin colors including greenish-yellow, greenish-blue or greenish-black.

Do zombies sink in water? ›

So unless air is trapped in their lungs, which can happen, a new zombie would sink to the bottom of a body of water.

Can zombies survive underwater? ›

Bob Bankard of philyburb.com argues that “water remains a safe boundary against decomposing bone-biters.” Other sources, however, suggest avoiding shallow water in the event of a zombie attack, as zombies do enter water and can remain underwater indefinitely.

Does a zombie have a heartbeat? ›

Characteristics. In zombie movies, zombies are almost always: Mobile (able to move) but technically dead, without a heartbeat or other vital signs.

What 2 foods can you survive on? ›

4 Foods You Could (Almost) Exclusively Live Off Of
  • Potatoes. Advertisement. ...
  • Human Breast Milk. Advertisement. ...
  • Kale. Advertisement. ...
  • Trail Mix.
Jul 7, 2016

What one food can you survive on? ›

Cecil Adams, the erstwhile columnist, claims to have run the numbers with his assistant and found that a whole lot of potatoes and milk would get you most of what you need – with the exception of the mineral molybdenum. But you can get all you need of that by also eating a bit of oatmeal.

What can zombies smell? ›

According to our research, zombies can not smell. And even if they could, their own fetid stench would mask anything else around them; including humans.

Would zombies be able to talk? ›

It's widely accepted that zombies can't speak because their limited brain function doesn't allow for complex thoughts. However, watch almost any zombie movie made in the past 50 years, and you'll hear them moaning up a storm.

Videos

1. Are there Zombies in the Bible? Zechariah 14
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2. Jim Carrey Shares His Views On Jesus Christ (And The Zombie Apocalypse)
(Ryan Zehm)
3. Scientists Reveal How a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen
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4. Zombies Apocalypse and The Bible(Part 1)
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